The 9th post of My Top Tracks
I was depressed as a teenager. Who wasn't? There were probably some hormones going around. But for me it was mainly about society and circumstances. I lived in a suburban-feeling small town where most people seemed most concerned about having a neatly clipped lawn and a spotless clean car. Sundays were devoted to achieving these ends. It seemed stupid to me. I sang Mr Clean under my breath while I watched the street from the window.
My school was packed full of teachers who were reactionary idiots; that sounds arrogant and harsh, but they were. Wearing the exactly correct uniform seemed to be their main concern. I grew my hair long and deliberately made minor infractions of the uniform code; I knew they would hate that, that was my act of rebellion, and, consequently, I was sent to see the headmaster.
More widely, competing with each other to get the best exam grades and to get jobs seemed inhuman and mad. There must have been a more cooperative, mutualist, and human way of doing things. I hadn't even read a word of sociology or socialist theory at this point. It was just common sense. I hated not being autonomous and living in my own place and choosing what I did in the daytime, rather than being compelled by law to go to this prison of a conservative school where I disagreed with just about everything there, and still do.
I was in a rut and had to get out of it. I loved the Ruts song In a Rut and thought if I sang the lines of the chorus over and over to myself it might help do that. "If you're in a rut, you gotta get out of it, out of it, out of it, out of it, out of it. If you're in a rut, you gotta get out of it, out of it, out of it, out of it". It didn't work. But the Ruts and this song became my companions in teenage anger and depression.
On researching for this blog post, I discovered, to my surprise, that The Ruts, from Hayes in West London, were originally a prog rock band called Aslan and lived in a commune. Then they turned to punk. In a Rut wasn't their best-known song. Babylon's Burning (1979) probably was. But In a Rut was my favourite, because it resonated with my experience. Their other songs like Babylon, S.U.S, Jah War, Something That I Said, Dope for Guns etc (again 1979) were often (but not only) about repressive policing, racism, the rise of the far right, riots etc. This was a long way from my home counties experience, but I knew it was going on. Margaret Thatcher hadn't even come to power then, or had only just so, so things were to get a lot worse.
My Ruts were the Ruts of the album The Crack (1979). After that, I didn't follow them that closely and nothing seemed as good as The Crack. John Peel discovered them and they recorded a well-known session for him back then. I listened to all of pretty much every John Peel show in the late 1970s. I didn't know until reading up for this blog that Misty in Roots, (probably my favourite reggae band) took the Ruts under their wing and In a Rut was recorded on Misty in Roots' label People Unite and released in 1978. I was 14. The Ruts played brash punk but also reggae and dub quite a bit. They were part of the white and black unity, punk and reggae crossover.
The Ruts said they weren't political or at least weren't trying to be. But they were writing about social experience and the sort of urban street world mentioned above. They were articulating conflictual social experiences. It was political. They were key in Rock against Racism. Radio stations wouldn't play Jah War, full of fury and about the Southall riots ('the blood on the streets that day'), near The Ruts' Hayes, because of its political content (Misty in Roots pop up again - indirectly - in this song).
Thankfully, the Ruts' Paris gig of January 1980 was recorded. Several of their great songs performed at this gig can be found online. In this performance of In a Rut Malcolm Owen is doing his characteristic prancing (I can't think of a better word for it), singing in his gruff street voice, straight and hard, aggressive (not in a bad way) and snarling like a true punk. Apparently, his wife was taken aback and disbelieving at an early gig when the aggressive Malcom she witnessed on stage did not fit the man she was used to. At the beginning of the song Malcolm introduces it saying that there is only one way to get out of a rut and that it is to do it in your own way. I wondered if he was thinking of his own experience battling heroin addiction when he said this. In the performance he creeps up on the guitarist, rugby tackles him, steals his guitar and then plays some pretty mean guitar himself. When he's had enough he relinquishes it back to the guitarist who doesn't seem at all bothered about the whole episode and picks up where he left off.
They were a very tight economical band, rat-a-tat drums, tight bass and guitar and singing. Malcom was a great front man, gangly, all over the stage, wearing braces on his (also tight) high-waisted jeans.
Malcolm Owen died following an overdose in July 1980 aged only 26. It still makes me feel anguished to think of it. Before my time other rock stars died early, Jimi Hendrix, Jim Morrison, Janis Joplin, etc. During my time there was Ian Curtis just weeks before Malcolm, John Lennon the same year, and Joe Strummer. But somehow I find Malcolm's death much more painful. He was trying to get over his addiction, staying with his parents to sort himself out, when it happened. He had sung against taking heroin. He was full of life and positive energy, yes angry and negative energy, but a positive life force, young and with much still to give. There is so much 'what could have been', for us, but also for him.
Here is John Robb on the Ruts and here John Clarkson.
In a Rut Lyrics
I can’t concentrate, I’m in a state
I don’t feel straight, I can’t love or hate
I can't feel nothing, can’t feel no sting
Only just learning, I ain’t a king
If you're in a rut
You gotta get out of it, out of it, out of it, out of it, out of it
If you're in a rut
You gotta get out of it, out of it, out of it
Out of it
Ain't no use, you ain't that sloose
Don't tie that noose, it's just abuse
Don't take that ride, it's suicide
You cut your wrist, you tried and missed
If you're in a rut
You gotta get out of it, out of it, out of it, out of it, out of it
If you're in a rut
You gotta get out of it, out of it, out of it
Out of it
I can’t concentrate, I’m in a state
I don’t feel straight, I can’t love or hate
I can't feel nothing, can’t feel no sting
Only just learning, I ain’t a king
If you're in a rut
You gotta get out of it, out of it, out of it, out of it, out of it
If you're in a rut
You gotta get out of it, out of it, out of it
Out of it
Ain't no use, you ain't that sloose
Don't tie that noose, it's just abuse
Don't take that ride, it's suicide
You cut your wrist, you tried and missed
If you're in a rut
You gotta get out of it, out of it, out of it, out of it, out of it
If you're in a rut
You gotta get out of it, out of it, out of it, out of it
If you're in a rut
You gotta get out of it, out of it, out of it, out of it, out of it
If you're in a rut
You gotta get out of it, out of it, out of it, out of it
If you're in a rut
You gotta get out of it, out of it, out of it, out of it, out of it
If you're in a rut
You gotta get out of it, out of it, out of it, out of it
If you're in a rut
You gotta get out of it, out of it, out of it, out of it